I’ve started a new story. It’s a 1950s teen!lock AU.
You can find it on ff.net here:
And Archive of Our Own here:
It’s also here under the cut, if you prefer. Hope you enjoy!
I just wanted to say thanks for the support over the past week. I’m sorry I’ve been absent, and sort of flitting in and out sporadically. On last Saturday night I plunged into a reverie of depression. I think it was triggered by the negative comments made about School For Scandal, which I KNOW is ridiculous, and it is absolutely not the author’s fault, but I was in a fairly fragile state, and it basically pushed me over the edge.
Last Thursday, I came off my anti-depression meds. I was at the point where I just couldn’t do it any more. I couldn’t do the meds. They were crushing my ability to write, they were numbing me to the point where I felt like I was in a constant haze and barely present. But on Sunday and Monday, I was terribly, terribly ill. I had extremely bad side-effects from coming off the meds. Apart from the usual nausea, fatigue, dizziness, and high temperature, I was panicking and hysterical, couldn’t sleep in the dark, kept entertaining really dark thoughts about being attacked, had nightmares, and was so close from just falling apart, I couldn’t even see how I could keep going.
It really was so, so hard. By Tuesday I forced myself to go out, but as soon as I got home I went into my room and sobbed my eyes out, and again felt on the edge of just giving up. On Thursday, I was able to go out again, but I was still emotionally fragile to the point where I kept crying over the smallest things.
I’ve now gone in the absolute opposite direction: I am intensely UP, I’m peppy and bouncing off the walls and I can’t sleep at all. I got about seven hours sleep yesterday from midday to 7pm. I’m waiting for the inevitable plunge from this high, but I’m hoping that being free of medication will mean that I’m not hit too hard. I’m going on Evening Primrose Oil and St. John’s Wort this week as a natural alternative to the meds. I still get small moments of nausea and feeling like I’m burning up, but I think the side-effects of STUPIDLY, STUPIDLY going cold-turkey have more or less worn off.
I have to be honest, I came really, really, really close to complete despair this week. I look back on last weekend as one of the worst times of my life, and I can only thank you all DESPERATELY for your kindness.
Lastly, I am feeling up to writing now, and have been entertaining thoughts of a John/Sherlock ghost story, in the vein of Victorian/Edwardian ghost stories like The Woman in Black, Turn of the Screw and The Others. I very much like the idea, though I’m not sure how my School For Scandal readers would react to something so different from me. Either way, I hope to be producing JohnLock fiction again very, very soon.
Thanks again so much. I hope you are all well xxx
I just read basically the meanest, MEANEST comments about School For Scandal and my writing, and I am in tears. I was already feeling upset and depressed, but this has just broken my heart. So much for cheering myself up.
Hello! It’s my birthday in exactly one month. I thought it would be wonderful if I could invite all of the people I’ve met on tumblr, but sadly I don’t know if my funds could stretch quite that far…
What I would like to do is ask if anyone lives around the Brisbane area in Queensland, or will be in the area on the 3rd of August. If so, you are quite welcome to stop in and say hello. If you are interested, please send me an ask and I’ll send you back my address and the other details.
Please don’t send an ask anonymously. I’d rather know who I’m sending my address to.
For those of you who requested this, or just prefer A03 to fanfiction.net (who doesn’t?), I have popped School For Scandal on there under my usual username “rubberbird”.
“This is good and i think i will read the rest of it and enjoy it, but apologies, I’m gonna have a mini rant. They go to school in England. You are probably American so you don’t understand the differences over here… Okay i don’t like rants so constructive ideas for the future?
-secondary school starts in year 7, then up til year 11 with GCSEs. Then 6th form or college yrs 12 and 13. Then uni.
- we (or at least my school doesn’t) don’t idolise sports players. I only go to public school so I can’t be certain but i don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with a sports scholarship or at least not into an educationally school - it doesn’t make sense to me’, surely scholarships should be academic?
- we aren’t outwardly or obviously homophobic. Or not at my school or anywhere I’ve been. I’ve heard mutters maybe but no shouts and obvious slandering against another student in class would not be tolerated. Again i don’t know about boarding schools etc but we would have been sent out and maybe gotten a midas for something like that. I don’t think I’ve ever heard serious homophobic slander, only in jest and never in earshot of someone known to be gay.
Again I don’t want to offend but americanisms can annoy me when they are applied to the English education system. But again i don’t blame you and I’m sure a lot of it is necessary for the story. Now I will ignore all of this stuff and read the rest of what appears to be a very interesting and perhaps emotional read. I did actually very much enjoy the chapter.
Now I feel bad. I hope you aren’t upset or anything? ”
I can’t even begin to explain the MASSIVE generalisations in this?